Hi people, I wun be blogging in here any longer.

But I will not shut down this piece of memory.

And I prefer not to disclose my new blog of desires either.

You shdnt be interested in my life.

Unless you care. As usual, I'm always doing well. Cheers. =)

Holy Fuck. Jovern striked 4D this night. Lady's luck pretty much by his side. Jesus Christ. I'm glad to haf him as a collegue and insisting the devil in me not to quit.

Was supposed to meet up with Feng and Jer today. Both called off the meetings. Hell, wad's happening to people nowadays? Work's been pulling everyone down.

I"m totally drained outta energy. Work was tiring. Computer work, tough tasks. Everything included, with a pathetic pay. God damn it. I absolutely fuckinlutely seriously condemn my bosses.

For all the hell reasons in the world, the landlord decided to increase the rent. And because of this dreadful reason, we hafta move. And thats not a good sign at all. Besides, it took me hard and sweat to get used to this current place.

Baby's gonna get another bike. Hmm, not a gd sign either.

I miss cute Amanda, crapping with her, missed her cold jokes and lameness, so much.

I hope Ray's doing fine.

And I hope to meet my darlings this week.

I will suffer, HARD this month if I learn the fact that I actually lost my pay. Holy Shit. I will kill myself for not spending all of my pay while out with Rongie yesterday.

Was out with Rongie yesterday. Donkey years since I last went out with her. And things still seemed so fine between us. No sense of the gap in conversation and stuffs. And shit, her big bday's this 11th. If I really really really lost my pay, den thats it.

Oh yea, I caught up with raymond last week. He's sucha nice pal, bought a gift frm TopShop for me. How sweet. And Ray, if u're gettin a gift for someone, pls remember to rip off the pricetag ok. I know the shirt isnt cheap, bt u dun hafta show it to make me feel guilty!

I missss Ade so much. God. I miss talking to her, being out with her, her craps, our shits, just EVERYTHING! She celebrated her big day on the 31st. Unfortuntely, I gave it a miss. Oh well, I duno wads wrong with me either. I just dun seem to fit into late nights anymore.

I was hoping for a fat hope. I wished us, all my absolute best friends wld party together, just like in the past. Thats threatening thou. Things haf changed, times too. People arent as free as they were before.  

Oh well, wads more disappointing is, me and Amanda, we actually drifted farrr apart. No more talkings, no more meetings. Today's her birthday. I had her present with me, all wrapped grandma years ago, ready to give it to her. Bt it seems so near yet so far. We cldnt make out the time for a perfect meeting. I cldnt do wad I wanna do, say wad I wanna say. Jesus. People were asking, "Hows Amanda?" and stuffs. The only reply I thought was sensible enough, "We hardly haf got the time to catch up every now and then. She's schling in the day and partying in the night. Whereas me, working in the day and slping in the night. I bet she's doing well. She has got friends she needs now. I guess she doesnt remembers me any longer."

Sigh~I've got this customer, an uncle in his forties. Was helping him to load stuffs he bought to his car. While on the way to his car, I thought "Oh, another cheapskate car." lol. How Bad. And then he whipped out his car keys, pushed the buttons. That fucking sight I cldnt take off my mind. That Fucking 2 seater Lexus! And the most fuckiest comment I've even made in ma life, "JESUS! YOUR CAR SO NICEEEEE!!" How embarassing. I just cldnt control it. The words seemed to just slipped outta my mouth, at the wrong time.

You see, my work place, the customers, are usually rich people. Because its venued between the landed properties houses. You can suffer so much by admiring em'. Those old aunties who drives BM. Old uncles with dozens of Amercian Express. Asians with an Ang-Mo bf/husband. Those who take a few hundred bucks as nothing. Those who buys without thinking. The worse ones are, those who are fuckin rich till the extend they've got nth better to do den to bargain non-stop.

Admiring is nothing.

God knows?

I might become one of my customers one day.

LOVE

I love a man who travels. Brings me along to explore every little spot of this adventurious world, along with the warmth guiding lights. Be it a tough journey with multiple obstacles. Anythin is better then a lonely journey I suppose. Even if God gave orders to take away my life, I'm willing to salute. As long as I did get to share one special moment with the man I love.

MONEY

I love money, oh yes I do. Money does wonders. Its amazing! Some wld die for it, others wld go crazy for it. With all the money, the Lexus, BMW and Jaguar, German Shephard Dog, Giant Schnauzer, and Alaskan Malamute is nth bt a piece of nut. Shopping Shop Shop everyday. Why the hell wld someone invent the toothfairy instead of a cashfairy? Like u're so desprately in need of money u been thinkin abt it all night. By morn', you overturn your pillow and discover all the gold bars in the world that cld keep u survive for the rest of ur life? Ok serious, if I happen to haf so much cash now, I wld throw in those bucks to further my studies overseas, get a car license, donate some to my best friends, my family. Simply stay away from this whole lot of polluting environment and come back with some knowledge. Easy people, once u get the money, buy some brains to keep ur money close to you.

God,

If you decide to turn your orders down and make me a poor chap for life, grant me a faithful guy with a superb body.

If you plan to keep me lonely for the rest of ma life, make me RICH. And I mean FILTHY RICH.

Now, make up your mind Jesus.

I'm an easy person. Just surprise me with any of the above. If none of these sounds pleasant to you, I'd look up for you for a battle, soon. 

Praise the Lord.

And then again, I'd rather haf money.

Unconvinced I am, till today. What bout receiving some news u dread so much and neva expect in your whole God damn life that something so severe wld happen to your best friend? A best friend who showered you all the care and concern no matter where he is. If I had a chance to meet God, I hope he'll kindly answer me;

Why him? He's sucha nice guy, a great friend. Why pick the goods and not the bads who deserved it a million times more?

Why in the world wld God create stress? Till today, Stress is a deadly disease still undefeated by some humans. Or is it actually a disease humans created among em'selves?  

Heck with it.

I just hope him well. Cause no one else wld be able to provide the neccessary help except himself. Do be strong, I will be there, you know it. And I said, its because of good friends like you I chose to be a true one. I'll neva leave you.

And why does she only approach for help when I'm needed? Thoughts of that really drain ma moods down. She expects you to be there when she calls. Since when I haven? Mayb this was the first time I deeply disappoint her. She called @ the dawn of the night, weeping. I assured to return her call. However, I didnt. I was already asleep. I remembered, I did tried ma best to stay awake, bt was defeated. Even the calls seemed like a dream I thought I had. Until the next day, she made it known to me that she hates me so much. WHY? Whenever she needs me, I tried to be there no matter what it takes. Consoles, Advices. Advices which she refused to heed in the end. She jolly well know all the shits I said from Day 1 actually meant well for her. It refers to empty talks to her I see. I dun expect her to take orders frm my advices, I knew I did warned her bout somethings, she chose it her way instead. And now, why wld she need me? Am I the one to shower all the blames? I know I flared badly in this friendship, bt I just need to know desperately, am I just being needed for AHWILE?